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日常小札 | 收拾 Diary | Tidying up

(中/EN)



和以往没有不一样,早晨18度,夜晚15度,手机里的天气预报依旧显示着今日街道上的花粉量不会减少。上海的冬天漫长到时常会忘记每年还有四季。我悠悠地横切过马路,走进全家而不是对面的好德,拿了杯不是维他柠檬茶就是丝袜奶茶的饮品。这种低劣的塑料防腐食品经常让我想起台北老家侧方斜坡道上的美而美早餐店。那里的奶茶配置永远都是低廉俗茶加上液体奶精,而红茶里永远都能闻到不锈钢保温茶桶里边缘残留着的叶渣味。早餐店阿姨总是把荷包蛋煎得特别熟。在我神游四海时,我打开手机准备付账,一边瞄到微信钱包显示余额120元,一边关心着手机里的23封未读信息。顿时想起了禹博今天是最后一天上班,我开始细想着还有什么事没有交接完成,想必他也不希望我在未来的几个月里还要找他索取资料。想着想着也快走到了公司门口,拐个弯时看到30余人正在为拍摄电影搭建场景,特意把外滩街道改造成20世纪50年代喧扰的纽约市井,模拟了当时的特色街灯、永不退色的复古招牌和下午四点的黄昏色调。我无法产生共鸣,就像我从来也找不着的归属感。瞥了一眼,和以往没有不一样,是漠不关心。 办公室里开始多了两个调皮的实习生后,我再也不是第一个到公司的人。最近的早晨里多了一份过熟蛋黄的焦气。我是蛮不在意却又暗自窃喜。打开电脑后,才发现最近闲得发慌,目光一不小心就定格在正走进办公室里的这位自带仙气的今日毕业生。身材瘦长的禹博今天穿着一件素面长版大衣,那衣尾飘逸的手法我彷佛看见吴道子所画之衣带如被风吹拂,挟带着春风满面。好的,这大概就是所谓「里程碑」赋予的完满。突然想起了在我待了十年的第一份工作与老板提出离职申请的午后,从没想过那一天的场景会从此烙印在我的记忆里,在当时很多的情绪以为只要记住那些字字句句,到了某一天就会释怀。但直到很后来我才明白,永远都没有办法释怀的是那些沉默与空白,以及眼神里的无奈。是祝福也是难舍。这样的场景在第二次来到眼前时我并没有因此驾轻就熟而成功无视那些微妙的情绪感到无足轻重。于是在那接下来的往后的每一次,我都告诉自己,永远都要好好道别。 禹博今日朝气的模样让平常毫无声息的办公室多了份欢快,对于一个年轻男孩来说这该是一种解脱和一份成就感。从昨天一早他就开始忙前忙后的用卷尺测量整个画廊的每个空间的每个角落。他跟我说他想把整个空间的模拟图都先做好,以便我们之后策展就直接用设计软件把作品挂上就行。和以往没有不一样,禹博就是这样体贴懂事。最后一晚为了欢送禹博,我们挑了间适合年轻人聚会的韩式烤肉店。这听起来就是你一杯我一杯,不醉不归。在酣饮几杯后,大家开始畅谈着理想,细想着未来。酒后的禹博比往常多了份多愁善感,当他再次提起为什么一定要做好整个画廊空间的模拟图时,他说,除了方便我们未来可以直接用这个基础来策划展览外,他也希望可以为自己第一间待得最久的公司留下一个纪念,以后想念时还能把这个模拟空间拿出来怀念。因为禹博的离开,这一个晚饭似乎让每个人都暂时卸下了心防,也让离乡背井的每个人都试着真诚以待。这是我在上海工作快两年来第一次在一个群体里感受到归属感。谢谢禹博,让我在这冰冷的城市里、麻痹的道路上,还能有感动的能力。


--(EN)


Same as usual, 18 degrees in the morning, 15 degrees at night, the weather forecast on the mobile phone still shows that the amount of pollen on the streets will not decrease today. The winter in Shanghai is too long that you often forget that there are four seasons every year. I cross the road leisurely, walk into Familyfamily instead of the opposite Alldays, and grab a drink that was either Vita lemon tea or silk-tockings milk tea. These kind of inferior plastic preservative food often remind me of the Meiermei breakfast restaurant on the side ramps of Taipei, my hometown. The ingredients in the milk tea there are always cheap vulgar tea and liquid creamer, and the black tea can always smell the residual taste of leaves in the edge of the stainless steel heat preservation bucket. The breakfast lady always overcooks the eggs. While I am still daydreaming, I turn on my phone to pay the bill. While looking at the WeChat wallet showing the balance of RMB 120 , I concern about that 23 unread messages on the phone. Suddenly, I realize that Yubo is on his last day at work today. I begin to think about what is left unfinished, I do not think he wants me to ask for any information from him in the next few months. As I approach the office, I turn a corner and see about 30 people setting up a scene for the film. The Bund was deliberately transformed into noisy 1950s New York streets, simulating the characteristic street lights of the time, the never-fading retro signboards and the tones of dusk at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I can not resonate, just like a sense of belonging I've never found. After a glance, same as usual, indifferent. I was no longer the first person to arrive in the morning after two mischievous interns started working in the office. A recent morning smelled like the scorch of an overcooked egg. I always pretend not to care, but secretly pleased. After turning on the computer, just realize recently idle get flurry, and my eyes is not careful to falling on the graduate that takes aura in walking into the office. The slender Yubo is wearing a plain long version of the coat today. The elegant way of the coat tail seems to me to see the belt painted by Wu Daozi as if blown by the wind, carrying the spring breeze with his face. Well, this is probably the completion of the so-called "milestone". I suddenly remember the afternoon when I submitted the resignation letter with my boss in my first 10-year job. I never thought that the scene of that day would be imprinted in my memory from then on. At that time, a lot of emotions made me think that as long as I remembered those words and sentences, one day I would be relieved. But it was not until very later that I understood that there was no way to let go of those silence and blank, and the helplessness in the eyes. Is a blessing and also a hard time to give up. When such a scene came before me for the second time, I didn't feel that I was so familiar with it and successfully ignored those subtle emotions. So every time after that, I told myself that I would always say goodbye solemnly. Yubo's vigorous appearance today makes the usual silent office more cheerful. For a young boy, this should be a relief and a sense of accomplishment. Since yesterday morning, he has been busy measuring every corner of every space in the gallery with a tape measure. He told me that he wanted to have the entire space modeled so that we could directly use the design software to hang up the works while curating the exhibition. Same as usual, Yubo is sweet and thoughtful. For the farewell party, we choose a Korean barbecue restaurant suitable for young people's gatherings. That sounds like you drink and I drink, never go home. After a few glasses of soju, everyone start talking about their ideals and thinking about the future. Yubo is more sentimental than usual. When he is mentioning again why it is necessary to make the gallery space simulation diagram, he says, that in addition to making it easy for us to use this foundation to plan exhibitions in the future, and he also hopes to leave a memorial for the first company he has stayed for the longest, so that he could take out the simulated space to remember it when he missed it. Because of Yubo's departure, this dinner seems to have temporarily relieve everyone of their guards, and also makes everyone who left their homes try to be sincere. This is the first time I have a sense of belonging in a group since working in Shanghai for almost two years. Thank you Yubo, let me have ability to be moved in this cold city and on the paralyzed road.



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